Being the potato that I am

Today I did something that I never do. Mostly because I have a strong conscience and always feel guilty. But today, I decided to lay around the house... almost all day. And it was great!

I did motivate a little bit. I ran to the grocery at 7:30a to get supplies for NYears treats. Plus I did a little laundry and made some cookies. Besides that I had some heavy duty couch time. I caught a Lifetime movie before the Packer game, which isn't something that has happened in forever. This aft I started a new book that I picked up at the library yesterday. So far it's a good read. Then my mom called and mentioned that she had some raw beef for lunch. I ran over there to grab her leftovers and just made myself a nice big sammich. Again, I was on the couch, enjoying the red meat and onions as I watched The World Series of Poker. I'd give anything to be one of those guys. Most of them are average joes that just have a knack for the game. I don't believe I'm good enough at reading people or calling the bluffs to be an advanced player, but I do enjoy the game and could watch it on tv for hours. Call me weird.

So, anyway, today was the day that I decided to put all projects aside and grab some me time. No major household chores, no computer work and certainly no exercise. I opted to be a slug and found great joy in doing so.

More tales of the snow throwing

You probably think that I'm obsessed with the snow so far this year, but when it snows three times a week, chances are good that you're going to hear about it.

Tonight I'm sitting on the couch all cozy with my laptop and I hear noise outside. The neighbor is blowing snow and he's doing my sidewalk and the end of the drive. (Very cool, David. Thank you.) I felt guilty when I looked out the window, wondering if he saw me, so I got off my duff and decided to head out. I was going to wait until morning, but I guess there's no time like the present.

The snow blower wouldn't start after a few tries and although I started to sweat a little I stayed calm and figured it had to be out of gas. I haven't filled the thing in a while and I have been using it quite often! So, I grabbed the gas can marked "snow" and walked over to the Q-Mart. It's across the street and down about three houses, doesn't get much handier than that. Seriously.

On the way over I realize that I'm wearing my pajamas. My bright yellow SpongeBob flannel pants are tucked into my boots. And they're very yellow. Oh, what the hell...who cares? Who am I going to run into on a Friday night at the Q-Mart??
(Side note: A few weeks ago I was going to watch the Packer game with some friends and I told Sara I wasn't going to shower, but just throw some clothes on. Her response was, "What if you run into the man of your dreams? Take a shower." She had a good point because you never know when it could happen.)

With that being said, I really didn't think Mr. Wonderful was going to be at the Q-Mart tonight. So, I filled up the can as quickly as possible and high-tailed it back home. I do have to admit that there were a few cars going in and out, but apparently none that were looking for me.

I got the blower started, although I made a little mess when adding the oil, and cleared the drive and front off within an hour's time. It was high, probably a good six inches plus. There were two cars that drove by and whistled when I was doing the front steps by hand, but they didn't stop to ask me out. Maybe I should try the purple flannel pants next time. Oh, kidding!!!

I have to say that it's actually a very nice evening now that the winds have calmed. It would be a fantastic night to play in the snow with the girls. Bums me out a bit that they're not here. There's always going to be another snowfall, though. And another. And another.

You scratch my back...

Here's one thing that I absolutely love. Love, love, love.

When I'm driving down the road and an oncoming car flashes their lights at me to warn of police sitting up ahead. I think that is the kindest, most fantastic thing you can do for someone. I do. It's the greatest gesture of all time. Someone did that to me on my way home today and as I looked back and forth, driving down the road, sure enough...there he was sitting about a mile away.

I try to do this for others and often wonder if I've saved them from a hefty fine and embarrassment. Do they know what it means, or do they think I'm some idiot flashing headlights at people for jollies?

So, pay attention when you're tooling around out there.
And whoever you are in that little red car - Thank You!!

If a coworker babbles in the woods, do you hear them?

Do you think that some people talk just to hear themselves talk? When I'm at work I generally keep conversation at an informative level and tell you what you need to know. There's a little chit chat here and there, but for the most part I do what I have to do that day and keep the vocals to a minimum.

There's a woman outside my office that talks n-o-n-s-t-o-p. Not kidding. The topic of conversation varies, I don't even know what the topic is half the time. She just talks on and on and on. And when she hangs up the phone she tells everyone what the phone conversation was about. It's enough to drive a person bat shit crazy. It's as if she can't handle a few minutes of silence and has to fill the quiet void in our lives. I like that little period of quiet that I have...no fair that she's trying to take it away.

Bye-bye Santa

Another Christmas season is behind us. It's been fun, and I'm very thankful for the good food, gifts and people in my life... but I have to admit that I've already started thinking about when I'll take the tree down. I'm all about getting things back to normal. Even the few days off of work leave me a little off kilter. I like schedule and routine. So, I guess you could say that I'm looking forward to work tomorrow. (I must've hit my head after the Packer game Sunday night, huh??)

I don't normally take extra days off between Christmas and NYears. One, because of the above mentioned and two, because I like to take vacation when it can be time spent outside. When April/May rolls around, that's when the vacation days start coming out. With that said, I have a few extra days that I didn't use this year. I'll roll them over to '08 and wait for those sunny/75 degree Fridays to appear. Man, that's just eons away though, isn't it?

So, yeah. My lunch is all packed for tomorrow and the backpack is in its to-go spot. I'm ready to wrap up this week and dive into 2008 full force.

Few random thoughts

Many weeks ago I wrapped the kids' presents in two different papers to make things easy. As I haul the goods up from the basement today I'm looking at the packages, unsure of which paper belongs to which child. There's green with Santas and blue with snowmen. A few of the gifts are the same for both kids, so it's tough to decipher what the gifts are. Classic.

The telephone. Why do some people call over and over again? If I don't pick it up the first time, what makes you think I'm going to be standing next to it three minutes later, just waiting to answer? This happened at a friend's house last night. The same person called three times in a row. Honestly. Leave a message. Today I was lying in bed, trying to kill a headache, and the phone rings. Exactly three minutes later it rings again, the caller ID confirming that it's the same person. I'll never understand that.

Chips and dip for lunch today. Not healthy, but it's my weakness.

The girls are with their dad today. That gave me time to shovel (yes, again), nap, get the mystery gifts under the tree and make some food for tomorrow. All that before I head to my aunt/uncle's house at 4:30. Sometimes I amaze myself. Doh!

The definition

fam·i·ly
\ˈfam-lē, ˈfa-mə-\ n.

Family denotes a domestic group of people, or a number of domestic groups linked through descent (demonstrated or stipulated) from a common ancestor, marriage or adoption.
A family may be defined specifically as a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity, and co-residence. Although the concept of consanguinity originally referred to relations by blood, many anthropologists argue that the notion of "blood" must be understood metaphorically; some argue that there are many non-Western societies where family is understood through other concepts rather than "blood".

I have come to realize later in life that family doesn't necessarily consist solely of the people I am related to. Family goes much further than that. It's not just the people that live in my house or those that I share a name with. My family is the people that care about me. Those that include me in their day-to-day routine, help me when times are rough and treat my children like their own. Family is the people that you can count on. My girls and I are very fortunate to have the extended family that we do.

Your house or mine?

Whenever we get together with my parents (and the gathering is at my house) my dad is always in such a hurry to leave. I invited them over for dinner on their anniversary and he left about 20 minutes after dinner. My mom stayed for a while because she loves spending time with the girls, so he walked home. It's not that my dad doesn't want to spend time with us, I really don't believe that, but he has this weirdness with being in his own house. He doesn't like going anywhere, period. I can't even talk him into joining us for lunch at his favorite burger place. He'll tell us to bring a sammich home! Maybe it's an old age thing that kicks in after 60. I hope like hell that it doesn't happen to me...because I'd go crazy insane not leaving the house.

The last few years we spent Xmas day at my house. They'd come over to open gifts, eat, drink and be merry. After the way the anniversary dinner ended I thought "why are we doing this?" If we went to their house he could go downstairs and watch whatever he watches down there, in his sweatpants, and the rest of us can still spend time together upstairs. That way his presence is technically still in the house and he can pop up now and then to chat (which he does). So, I called mom today and gave her the choice. When she asked dad his first response was "I'd much rather they come here". See!?!? All we need is a little common sense, people.

So, I think we have officially moved this holiday to their house. I love having people over, but if I can't get them to stay, then let's go to their house instead. I know we all have a little dysfunction in our families (don't even get me started - I could probably write the book), so most of you will understand the oddness in this. I just say that it is what it is and go with that.

Extra cheese please

Whew. Feeling much better about the whole household today. Jules was still sick, but she seems to be coming around tonight and I'm sensing 'back to school' tomorrow. That's just good for everyone.

I had a really good ham on rye for dinner and that always makes me happy. I love my rye bread. I had a hard time at the grocery when picking out cheese. Swiss or pepperjack...hmmm. Tough decision! I went with the pepperjack because I like a little zip in my sammich. I'm weird when it comes to a sammich. It has to be great bread (soft) and the insides must be just what I'm craving, or else why eat it?

I'm really looking forward to this weekend. We're just hanging low with no commitments. Love those kind of weekends! Just lots of eating, reading, movie watching and maybe a little sledding.

Next, please....

I feel like a walk-in clinic. First there was Ali with her bloody nose, odd as that was. Then she comes home last night with this weird rash all over her body. Arms, legs, everywhere. Even her face. I had a hard time figuring that one out, still haven't. I had her shower (without soap!) and then put this cream all over the rash, which was about 75% of her body.

Middle of the night Jules comes walking into my room. Again, foggy and out of it, now what?? She is bawling and says she has a severe headache. All I can think is vomit. Sure enough, that starts a few minutes later. After some more of that I get her settled in my bed and she's burning up with a nice fever. She's been on and off all day now. Napping, feeling better, then sweats, then another nap. It's crazy. Ali woke all happy this morn (without rash!) and went off to school, so I've been hanging low with my mini all day. Nothing like a good sick day off for me, too.

The mini is sleeping right now. I just finished making a shrimp salad (can't believe I had all the ingredients here) and will get back to my new book in a few minutes. Maybe I should get in a nap myself. Lord knows what will happen when I go to bed tonight!!

Wake me when the week is over

What a weekend. I feel that I need to stay at home for the next three weeks to recover. I'm a do-er, but I usually have a lot of home life mixed in to even things out. This weekend was go-go-go, but I really enjoyed myself.

I had dinner with two gal friends Friday eve. We decided to stop somewhere for a beer after and I ran into an old coworker from almost 20 yrs ago. We always had a great relationship, just a fun guy. He was entertaining as hell and we had a lot of laughs that night.

Saturday I got a quick workout in, ran to Ali's bball game and then came home to shorten some pants I needed to wear to my work holiday party. I watched a movie while I sewed - The Usual Suspects. Very interesting movie, but you have to pay attention and stay on your toes.
The holiday party was fun, but not in the usual sort of way. After dinner we had a drink or two and then the place started clearing out. Everyone was heading up to this hall to watch a fellow worker play in his band. There was a large work group there when we arrived...fun time. My throat was raw from the smoke, though. Kills me every time.

And Sunday - not always a day of rest. I gathered with some friends at Big Jimmy's to watch the Packer game. That place is always entertaining, to put it mildly. I was a little beat by the end of the day, but it was worth it. Lots of great laughs with my friends...

Things turned a little sour at the end of the eve and my aggravation took its toll when I went to bed. I couldn't sleep and crashed for about two hours total when Ali woke me at 4am with a pouring bloody nose. Just happened right in the middle of her sleep. Let's just say that it wasn't pretty and the mess was more than I bargained for at that time of day. When things got under control we were both able to squeeze a little more sleep in before the rooster got us up.

The weekend ended up kicking my butt in the long run, but I'll survive...I always do. Nothing a few nights of sleep won't cure. Spending time with good friends is priceless.

Without explanation

Sometimes I wish that other outside influences would disappear and we could live the life I dreamed of for us three. And then there are days that I wish one of my fantasies would come true. Wouldn't that be nice?

Talk to me

Sometimes I wonder who's reading this. I receive very few comments. But then I'll get emails and remarks from friends on the phone stating that they laughed their asses off the other day or loved what I wrote about such and such. I write what I do mostly for me, but also to share my life with others. And I want to hear your feedback, too! Because that's important to me. So, please, leave comments once in a while. Tell me what you think. Tell me if I'm nuts or if you agree. Share a similar experience.

It's very easy and you don't have to give any personal info away to do it.

• Just click the comments area.
• Select 'nickname' and use your initials (or nickname) if you'd like.
• Tell me what's on your mind.

I encourage you.

Happy birthday to you

Got a few xmas cards today. One was from Brian. He wrote a nice note inside and it really hit home. Not only was I touched by the fact that he thought of me, but that he personalized the card as well. That's the kind of guy he is. It has to be hard for him to get into the Christmas spirit without Carol this year. It was such a magical time for her.

Carol's birthday is this Saturday, the 15th. I've been thinking about it for quite some time and all the memories are flooding through the gates. After getting Brian's card today I sat down, had a talk with Carol and then a good hard cry. I believe it's a regiment that is necessary once in a while to keep me grounded. We all have our own ways of dealing with pain and talking to Carol about how I feel is my way. And the cry... the cry is therapy of the highest kind.

High five, ain't no jive

I aced the tests. The two questions I got wrong are bugging me, because I'm sure I knew the answers. They don't tell you what was done wrong, just the two that were incorrect. It doesn't matter because I needed 80% to pass, which I did, but the perfectionist in me wants to prove I knew those two questions! Anyway, it's over and now I have two classes that I don't have to take.

One requirement of the business program is that you take Microsoft Office classes, or test out of them, before entering the business courses. Well, I know Excel and Access very well, but I rarely use Word or Powerpoint. It's just not needed for the job. Now they are all behind me and I can spend my credit dollars on courses that count.

Background: Maybe I didn't make this clear to all - I am going back to school (yet again) to get my business degree. I finished the web design program last spring and think the business degree will be a real good mix with my computer background. I wonder at times why I'm doing this and how I'll get it done with work and the girls, but I will. I seem to inflict pain on myself periodically and always survive it. What did I say??? What doesn't kill us will only make us stronger!!

I also figure that this is as good a time as any to school again. I have two years to kill (since I'll be completely dateless with my braces), so I may as well further my education in that time.

Just another hump day

All is good so far today. I have my laptop and am installing all my software as I speak. It takes a lot of configuring to get everything setup the way I had it, but I have to admit that it's nice to start from scratch and eliminate clutter. Had I been prepared for the rebuild, that's another story.

Roads are all clear this morning. I'm not sure why the plows went past my house twice at 4am, scraping the concrete. For crying out loud.

This aft I have some tests to take at LTC. I hate tests. Even if I know the subject matter up and down, I still hate tests. There's always pressure and anxiety. I need to get 80% on these tests to eliminate taking additional credits this spring. It shouldn't be a problem as long as I control the nerves.

Back to work I say.

Welcome to my nightmare

Had a bad dream last night. Well, not all bad, but not exactly a warm and fuzzy one, either. You know how some dreams have 2-3 parts and somehow they mesh together, although none of the parts make much sense or have any correlation to the other parts? That was last night.

Carol was in the dream. I was waiting for her at my house (but it wasn't my house). We had to be someplace at 4:00. I remember constantly looking at the clock. I saw her earlier in the day and now she was on her way over. I like it when she's in my dreams. Some of them are so real and it's as if I'm given another chance to talk to her again.

So, she's not there yet and I have to shower and get ready for this 4:00 thing. I'm in this shower that's almost like a huge glass room. Somebody I know walked by and saw me in the glass. They came in and tried to hurt me. At that exact moment I woke up, very startled. My heart was racing and I was almost shaking. It was awful. The real awful part is that the person trying to hurt me was somebody that's close to me. It left me with a very bad feeling.

The clock said 5:00am and I was wide awake after my heart slowed down. I turned on the news to see nothing but storm alerts and cancellations. What the? First thing I did was look outside and the sidewalks were still clean. Looks like the storm was all south. Whew!
Well, by the time I got the girls off to school this morn there was a light snow with a few inches possible by this aft. I hope they don't get let out early... I have tons to do today. And it's a great day to be working at home!

One step forward and three steps back

For the love of Pete.

Go ahead and ask me how my Monday went... this would only happen to me.

I get to work, few minutes early. Power up the pc, get my coffee, have half a bagel. As I'm getting through my morning routine a Yahoo IM message pops up. This guy that I met online many months ago wants to chat. I didn't even remember his name and forget why we stopped communicating, so why now after all this time? We chat briefly and I tell him I have to get to a meeting, which was partially true besides the fact that the meeting was in an hour.

Anyway, that was all weird, but not the part that really threw a wrench into my day. A few minutes later I'm finishing up with some emails and my screen goes black. Instant reaction - WTF? I tried everything and couldn't get my laptop to boot back up. Now I'm getting nervous. This laptop is my livelihood. It's my work pc, but it's everything to me. It contains all my professional data, including a lot of photos that I use for the company website, plus personal data. Misc projects from classes I've taken, personal photos and most importantly websites that I've worked on as side jobs. A lot of this data is retrievable through various backups, but some of it is not. Either way it will take me hours and hours to rebuild what I have on this laptop. Hours that I don't have. One project that I just started this weekend, and would love to get back, is the elementary PTO website that I'm creating. Frickety, frackety, frick.

I took the laptop over to John (IT Mgr, at our other bldg) and he's trying to access the hard drive for me. I'm hoping he can get the data I need, otherwise I'm a fish out of water. Just flapping around on the beach. In the mean time he has a spare HD and can start rebuilding my laptop. When he's done I get to spend two days installing and configuring all the software I use on a daily basis. Good times. So, I left work to come home for the aft and probably tomorrow. I can do most of my daily tasks from here, with ability to access our network. On my way home I did what I do best to forget about problems. I cranked the tunes and rocked out. Always makes me feel better.

Although this whole experience has left me a little Td, I'm not really showing it. Few reasons...

1-I'm an IT gal and it is my responsibility to make sure that ALL my data is backed up, not partial. I should never assume that my laptop is safe.

2-I did have backups of some important data. I recently burnt a cd of photos, letters and other memories I had of Carol. That wouldn't have been replaceable and would have left me in a damaged state.

3-Life's too short to get upset over things that are out of my control.

Power in numbers

I think it was Bill Cosby that said, "You're not really a parent until you've had more than one child." Isn't that the truth.

There's a completely different dynamic with one child vs two. Ask anyone that has two or more children. Having "one" for a day is euphoric. And it doesn't matter which one I have, one is just good. Last night my mom asked if she could take Al for the eve to decorate cookies and have a sleepover (the parents like having "one", too.) So Jules and I ate, played and did a movie. It was great solo time for us. Today everything went back to normal.

I picked up Alison to go to church this morn and the two were fighting the minute everyone was in the car. It's so discouraging, knowing that this is how my day will now mold into shape...with two arguing children. After church they fought off and on until late afternoon, when I had to take Alison to a bday party. Again, Jules and I are at home solo and I am at peace. Some days I think they actually plan their moves for the day and pursue to press as many buttons of mine as possible just to watch me snap. Maybe there's some fun in that? I know I was scared sh!tless when my dad yelled at us and gave us that look. For some reason it doesn't shake them... they just carry on.

I'll never understand why siblings fight. I disliked my sister plenty when I was a child and I've heard lots of stories from friends where they did mean things to their brother/sister. It must be the higher up's way of keeping parents on their toes.

Just shoot me now

What a night from hell. I was so beat last night that I didn't even put jams on before I crawled into bed. I had flannel pants on, but was still wearing a T and sweater from earlier in the day. I decided those extra five minutes to change would cut into my much-needed sleep time, so I just crawled right in. At 11pm Alison came in and said she didn't feel well. You know how you're in a deep sleep when the kid wakes you up? I just wanted to "yeah, yeah, go back to bed", but maybe there's really some validity to her statement. I can't just sit there and watch her feel crappy, so I tucked her back in with a towel, glass of water and huge plastic bowl next to her bed. Now that I'm wide awake I flick on the tv and start watching channel 18.

About midnight I hear a nasty retching noise and realize the poor kid is getting sick. When I run into her room she's standing there with the huge bowl in her hands. TG I put that in there! We sat on her floor for a while as I held her hair (such an awful job, but the kindest thing you can do for someone). After a while she felt better and I cleaned her up and got her tucked back in. Taking that bowl downstairs was the worst...gagging the whole way. But that's what moms do.
Oh, and can you believe the poor little thing actually apologized for waking me?? Good grief.

Again, now really wide awake, I decided to watch more tv. The plows were going past my house every 30 minutes and those suckers are loud! I have no clue what time I eventually fell back asleep, but the alarm went off at 6am and I felt like I was in some drug-induced haze.

Ali decided to go to school this morn. It must have been some bad food sitting in that little stomach because she seemed back to her old smiley self. We went to the buffet by Target last night and it's impossible to pinpoint what it could have been. We all had a few plates, little bits of everything. Will we wait a while to go back there? Highly probable, although it's good eats.

I was late for work with having to get the girls ready, blow more snow and just get my body moving in general. (Yes, I said blow, not shovel.) Overall I'm in pretty damn good spirits and plan to make the most out of this fine day. Although, I was a bit nervous on my drive to work. After hearing all the talk on the radio I remembered that it was Pearl Harbor Day. My first thought was "do we get mail??" I have a Netflix movie coming today for the little people and it would jeopardize our whole evening if it didn't arrive! Tonight is chicken quesadillas, popcorn and Shrek the Third. Doesn't get much better than that.

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen...or deal with it

This time of year leaves me with mixed feelings. There are pros and cons to winter and each season brings change. I always believe that change is good, even if it can be negative at times. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. With that said, this is what I do/don't like about winter. (p.s. saying that I like anything about winter is really pushing it for me.)

Cons
1. I'm always cold. Period.
2. I don't care for any winter sports besides ice skating, and that makes my feet cold.
3. I can't sit outside with a lawnchair and cocktail.
4. I miss my sandals.
5. Heating costs never get any lower.
6. Everyone is obsessed with the weather... the snow, the snow.
7. Cabin fever and lack of sunlight make me irritable at times.
8. There's more laundry; clothes are bigger and we wear more layers.
9. I have to put more effort into getting exercise.
10. My skin is SO dry.
11. It's the longest season of the year, by far.

Pros
1. Oranges are plentiful and delicious!!
2. The humidity doesn't make my hair look like crap the minute I walk out the door.
3. I love making and eating lots of chili.
4. Some of us look better with more clothes on.
5. I love buying jackets.
6. You know the end is only a few looong months away.

Do unto others

This was the view out my office window at 8am. The gentleman next door, who shares a driveway with our company, got stuck in the snow. I didn't see it happen (normally I see him leave each morn), but I noticed him spinning the wheels pretty good trying to get out. I think he backed out of his garage and went right into the snowbank.

His daughter (appeared teen age) was standing by the car, unsure of what to do. After he went into the garage to grab two carpet pieces to put under the front wheels I notice two of my coworkers come out the front door (which is right under my window). Jim and Gary are both pretty stand-up guys. As they were pushing the car from behind I see a taxi-van pull in. The parking lot across the street (old bowling alley) is actually home to a local taxi service now. They must have noticed the problem, also. I'm guessing the driver offered the teen daughter a ride to school because she grabbed her bag out of the car and hopped into the van. After they took off Gary and Jim did a little more pushing and rocking, and they finally got the gentleman's car free.

Good deeds like these make me happy. Helping strangers get out of the snow, offering a stranger a ride... that's what life is about. If somebody has their hands full at the store and drops an item, pick it up for them. Open a door, let the lady with two items go in front of your full cart. Each day do a good deed for someone you don't know. It all comes back full circle.

Not enough money in the world

Last night I watched Jon & Kate plus 8. That show completely puts life into perspective for me and makes mine look like a dream! J&K had some fertility issues and after receiving some help they had twin girls. Kate later decides she wants one more baby. Jon was hesitant, but finally agrees. He thought life was pretty good with the twins... stating that the world is made for "fours". So, they try to have one more baby and she gets PG. Turns out they have sextuplets!! Damn those fertility drugs.

As the show is being filmed there are 2-6 yr old girls and 6-2 yr olds (3 boys, 3 girls). It is complete chaos. Kate quit her nursing job to stay at home (obviously) and Jon works in IT. Kate is a little high-strung and a complete control freak with schedules and cleaning, etc. She almost has to be to keep that house running, right?? Jon is very mellow and easy going, love his personality. He flat out admits that he loves going to work! Who wouldn't??

Last night they were working on potty training for "the babies". That's what they call the six. Could you imagine?? I was stressed on training one child at a time. Kate has potty chairs strewn all over the house. It's nuts.

http://www.sixgosselins.com/
http://health.discovery.com/convergence/gosselins/gosselins.html

I highly recommend watching this show, at least once, if not more. It's on TLC Monday eves (8pm) and Discovery Tuesday eves. Possibly Saturday afternoons, as well. Think I saw a weekend repeat once or twice. After watching it you turn off the tv and think, "It's good to be me."

Another day, another five cents

OK, a little amendment to the weekend. The Xmas party was a great time, as usual. <click photo to embiggen> It's an annual event and I've never gone home disappointed. This group of ladies is very entertaining, to say the least. We normally have 12, but this year four were unable to make it due to weather or personal reasons. No more of that!

It all started back in 1994 and has been going strong ever since. Most of these women know me better than anyone else in the world. That can be good and bad! Oh, the stories...

This evening is worth a slight headache in the morning, tenfold.

Speaking of headaches - As far as the snow blower goes, I have to take full blame for that one. The back-breaking pain and near passing out was all self induced. My dad went up to my house today with his neighbor to look at it. They emptied the tank and poured a fresh batch of gas/oil mix in and ZOOM! ZOOM!, back in action! The thing started right up. I was told by three people this morning that I should never store it over the spring/summer with gas in it. The blower needs to be emptied or run dry at the end of winter. My fault. I wasn't exactly in the mood for troubleshooting yesterday morn, so I deserve the three hours of shoveling. I did learn a valuable lesson, however, and will not make that mistake twice. Not an excuse, but my ignorance is largely due to the fact that this was my first time responsible for a snow blower! It was never "my thing" until I became a single homeowner. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Home improvements

Here's the new do. What do you think? I have to admit that I'm pleased I cut it off. I'm always up for a change... change is good. And maybe it makes me look more youthful?

I'll tell you one thing that will make me look youthful - my braces. Did I mention that I was getting braces on January 9th?? Woo hoo! Let the pigeons loose!

After seeing this photo and my eye teeth sticking out, I have to say that it's time.

Winter sucks

Where to start?
I guess first off, if you are offended by foul language you should stop reading now. I'm in that mood... a little pissy. I just spent 2 hours and 45 minutes shoveling and I'm not even done. I left a patch in the back figuring I would just drive over it. And my mother even stopped by and helped a little, so you could add another good 45-60 minutes onto that if I would have been solo the whole time. Cheese and rice.

I know this is WI and I should own a snowblower. I DO have one, but the fricken thing wouldn't start! I don't know how many inches we got yesterday, but the shit is about as wet and heavy as it gets. And I have a LOT of concrete.

Maybe I should back track here and explain how I felt when I woke this morn. I had a pretty good wine hangover. Xmas party with the ladies at my house last night. Good time, but it would have been fantastic if I could have lounged a bit this morn instead of spending it the way I did. So my blower doesn't start, I'm hung, very thirsty and I just stood there like an idiot. What to do? I decided to start hacking at the end of the drive with my little plastic shovel where it was over a foot or two high from the damn plows. With people rolling in and out of the drive last night it was nice and packed down, too. F!ck. Then I saw my neighbor, David, outside so I asked him to help me start the blower. He tried, but was as successful as I was, so off he went. I went back to chiseling the end of the drive and as I looked around I saw four neighbors, all men. My only thought was - "Why aren't they over here helping me?" Seriously. Hell, I'm as independent as the next guy and have no problem with that, but couldn't they see what I was up against? I thought I was going to cry.

Well, I spent the almost three hours hauling wet snow around and I think my back is about to snap. I only came in the house twice. Once to grab a 2-liter bottle of 50/50 (which is over half gone) and once to use the bathroom. I am in a lot of pain right now and think a hot shower is in order. That, and I need food something fierce. The only thing going for me right now is that I still love my new haircut.

More on the Xmas party later. I need time to refuel the brain.

Good times.

To tell or not to tell

Tonight I had that conversation with Alison that every parent dreads. No, not the sex talk. The Santa talk. Ugh.

She's been asking a lot of questions the last year about the Easter Bunny, Santa, even the Tooth Fairy. I skirt around it all the best I can, but I have to admit that I'm not very good at improv. I need prep time for this stuff. The last few weeks there've been constant inquiries about whether he's real, why does his handwriting look like mine (I tried!) and "show me a picture of the real St. Nick". She even asked Grandma if she believes. Under no circumstances did I want to burst this kid's bubble, but it was time. I couldn't lie anymore... it felt wrong! And my biggest fear was that she would not let up and eventually spoil things for her little sister. So, to shut her up, we had the talk.

It's hard to get one-on-one time with the girls, so I waited until Jules was in the shower. I sat next to Ali, looked her in the eye and asked why she was asking so many Qs about Santa lately. She told me that a lot of kids at school were telling her that their parents bought the presents. I knew this time would come, but I guess I wasn't ready for it now! Granted she's in third grade and maturing beyond belief, but this is a pivitol moment in a kid's life.

So, we talked. She flat out asked if I was the gift-bearer and I said, "Yes". Her sweet blue eyes filled up for a minute and it broke my heart. I think she knew, but that holiday magic was suddenly torn out of her life. The fantasy was gone and now the reality of "my parents might start skimming on the gifts" set in. After the shock settled we had a nice chat and she promised not to tell anyone. I swore her to secrecy with her sister and all her friends. I believe that she'll keep that promise because later in the eve she had this twinkle in her eye, as if to wink about her special secret with mom. It makes her feel privileged, kind of one-upping her sister.

Tough moment for me. I just hope the little squirt holds out a few years yet. That playground can be brutal.

The one thing that made me laugh was Ali's final question. "So, where do you hide the presents??" Little shit.

Rattle rattle thunder clatter - boom boom boom

One would think that I lived in Chicago. It's windier than shiznit today... and was all through the night. I've always had a thing with the wind. It's one reason that I'd rather live in the city than out in the boonies; I'm a little more sheltered. That, and I enjoy sidewalks, mini-marts and neighbors. The wind can take a completely beautiful day and ruin it.

So, last night the wind was howling pretty good. There are two windows by my headboard and one of the storms doesn't fit very snug. It's an older window and needs replacement. Whenever we have strong winds from a certain direction the stupid thing rattles. Loudly. It's enough to wake a poor mom, and it does. I slept very little last night and will pay dearly later on. Luckily Sally Severson said the winds will diminish this aft and I should be good for tonight.

The last time I complained about the stupid window my dad asked why I didn't just go sleep downstairs. Tempting as that is, I love my bed and couldn't imagine getting more sleep on the couch. I believe the real solution here is to get some new windows upstairs! It's on the list.

On another note: How many bad hair days can a gal really have before it's time to make a change? All windy days aside, I need help.

How does this body work?

I feel like a huge slug today. I had a list of things to do last night and only three hours to accomplish it all, so I skipped my workout. And in that three hour period I started getting hungry, so I chowed three pieces of pizza. Guilt came over me at bedtime.

People say that the female body goes through some changes when nearing 40 and I'd have to agree. I'll be 40 in May and I'm already seeing shifts in my body. The metabolism is numero uno. I've been blessed with my father's metabolism. For those of you that know him, this is a good thing, he is very thin. We can eat anything we want and usually not pay the price. I may have to watch it a tad, but with his metabolism and my moderate appetite, I've always been fairly petite. Over the last year I've put on a few pounds and have noticed that while my eating habits haven't changed, the room left in my pants sure has! I refuse to buy a new wardrobe or eat like a fly, so the goal is to get a few pounds off through the workouts, just so I'm comfortable.

Another thing that is supposed to change when women hit 40 is their drive. I'll always remember a conversation I had with a woman in Alaska, back in 1997. We were having a cookout, eating Alaskan red salmon and WI Johnsonville brats. Our friend's neighbor said, "Just you wait. Wonderful things will happen when you turn 40." Of course we are all different creatures with different wants and likes, but I'll have to give her credit where it is due. There is definitely an upside to this age thing.

Monday, Monday.... (sing it)

As much as I enjoy long weekends, I'm also glad to see them end. I need that sense of normalcy and schedule in my life. Hanging out all the time and be-bopping around does actually get old. Back to school and work I say!!

What did I do all weekend?
Thursday - Turkey was good. Spent the day cheerleading for the Pack and having dinner/drinks with the parents, the girls and my aunt and uncle. Good day.

Friday was a day of sorrow and laughs. I went to my boss's funeral and oddly enough there were both emotions throughout the day. Mike was the owner and CEO of the company. Just a man full of energy and zest. His death came as a shock to us all and it's been difficult to imagine life without him. As one coworker said in the receiving line, "I thought Mike was immortal". I couldn't have said it better myself. The visitation was crowded, one of the longest lines I've seen. They cut it short to start the memorial service and there was standing room only in the church. If that doesn't tell you what kind of guy he was....
The part of the service that really tugged at the heart was when his three adult children spoke, remembering their dad. I cried and I laughed... the stories were heartfelt.
After the service a group of colleagues met at Bushwood, because that's what Mike would have done. We had a few drinks, shared stories and had a few more laughs. It was a nice way to end the day of celebrating Mike's life.

Saturday we had some friends over in the aft. Pizza, snacks and a few drinks later our friends went home and I was wiped. A little sluggish from Bushwood and then trying to kick it with a bloody made KB one tired soldier. Unfortunately my girls remembered that I promised to put the Xmas tree up. Damn! I hate when they hang on my every word like that. So, I had to oblige to avoid four more hours of whining. Long story short, not good. I bought a pre-lit last year after the holidays and this was the first time out of the box. A whole section wasn't lit up and I was Td!! I went bulb to bulb, searching for the problem and finally found a broken one. This was two hours into the experience and let's just say that the girls were staying quiet in the other room avoiding me because it was real obvious how I felt about the whole situation. Grrrr.

Sunday - Church, Target, shrimp primavera, decorating the tree (finally), snack, and then reading book time.

Not a complete upper of a weekend, but that's what you get. If everything went my way I wouldn't learn anything new.

What's important - flannel and family

There are a handful of people in the office today and unfortunately I am one of them. Luckily I'll be able to do the happy dance at noon. Denise and I are hitting El Camino for lunch, huge yum, and then I'm coasting the rest of the day. I told the girls I'd take them out for pizza later and I just got a new Netflix movie for us to watch... so that just equals fun! I already bought the food I need for Tgiving dinner, we don't have any obligations tonight and my floors are actually clean. Sounds like time to relax!

As much as I enjoy getting out in the world, I have to admit that a cozy night at home ranks pretty high on the list. Especially when it's chilly and gloomy like today. We'll have our pjs on at 5:00, fighting for a position on the couch. There's nothing like hanging out with those two little girls and a couple of blankets.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.
We have plenty to be thankful for... I know I do.

Shake your groove thing

Let me just start by saying that if Marie Osmond doesn't get kicked off of DWTS pretty damn soon I'm going to boycott the show, period. As if it wasn't ridiculous enough that my Cheetah Girl, Sabrina, was voted off weeks ago when she was the favorite to win. (At least she walked off the show with a new, hot, dancing beau!) Marie, sorry sweetheart, but it's time...

I think I should also clarify as to why I'm watching DWTS. My mother got the girls hooked on it and now they make me watch it. It all started when Apolo Ohno was on. I've been in love with him since the first day I saw him on the ice. I still have two photos of him from the 2002 Olympics taped to the side of my printer at work. (xoxo, baby). In 2003 Steve and I got tickets to see him race at the Pettit Center. Yes, Steve was reluctant, but later agreed to go. Well, Apolo had to cancel last minute for some reason and I ended up tossing the tickets. I was crushed.

The season that Apolo was on DWTS, he won, BTW!! He and his partner, Julianne, were the cutest things ever and they rocked on the dance floor. I SO wanted to be her. A girl can dream, right?

Fess up

Have you been keeping up on this creep, Drew Peterson, from Illinois? He's a police sergeant that is being accused of wrong doings with more than one wife. The guy has had four wives by his early 50s and I just don't get it. Have you seen pictures? His current wife is 30 years his junior. What did she see in him?

Wife 4 is now missing. She disappeared on Oct. 23rd and nobody has heard a word from her. And she left two young children behind. Hmmm. His third wife was said to have an accidental death in the bath tub, but they recently exhumed her body for another autopsy. Now they think her death was a homicide staged to look like an accidental drowning. The second wife just piped up and made claims that Drew had threatened to kill her and said he could make it look like an accident. Wife 3 and 4 had also emailed and told friends/family that they feared for their lives and that he threatened them, as well.

So now, after a period of hiding, Drew is speaking out with his lawyer. He was upset to find out that wife 3's death was a murder. He claims wife 4 ran off with another man, hence her sudden disappearance. And he is unhappy with wife 2's accusations because he thought they were friends. Honestly, something's just not adding up here. The guy's relationship history is too much for it to all be coincidental.

After watching him in an interview with Matt Lauer, I am convinced that he's guilty of wife 3 and 4's deaths. Matt pretty much said the same thing. The way that Drew sat, his lack of emotions and even a giggle when he told wife 4 to come home... he's just another Scott Peterson all over again.

I'm seeing red

I've always had an issue with being able to celebrate one holiday at a time. Let's prep for the holiday coming up in a few weeks and then do the next one after that. Easy, right?

Christmas is the one holiday that's blown way out of proportion and we certainly need more time to get ready for it, not to mention money. What an expensive holiday! Maybe that's why it was never my favorite. It takes so much energy and causes so much stress that it just sucks the life out of people at times. Think about all the hustling and bustling you do to get everyone just the right gift and all the last minute crap, like candies and cookies and decorating and ugh!! I'm no scrooge, but holidays are meant to be a time of celebration, not debt and exhaustion.

My irritation today stemmed from two things. First, I'm seeing Christmas decorations on houses already. Garland and red bows tied to the front porch. There's a house one block away that was decorated two weeks ago. Then the house across from me still has corn stalks and pumpkins out. Can we all celebrate the same holiday, please?
Second, I went to Walmart this aft. Enough said. It was a peckin zoo. There were Christmas songs playing and bells ringing. I know that people are out in full force jumping on the shopping (and I'll admit that all my Christmas shopping is done!), but maybe we could halt the cheesy tunes for a while yet. How many times am I going to have to listen to "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth" in the next six weeks? It's not a real chart topper.

I still have my "November" decorations in the house, which include some pilgrims, indians, three scarecrows and a cool looking turkey. I think I'll take them down next weekend, after Thanksgiving. One holiday at a time.

Remember me? Come on in!

Have you ever had those dreams where you're "with" someone from work? Last night I did, but it was my boss from the early 90s!! It was odd as hell and I haven't seen this guy since who knows when. I will admit that I had similar dreams of him twice before, years ago when I was married. Now (A) I'm not attracted to this guy and (B) I'm not even sure that his personality works for me.

Why do we do this?

Excuse me, sir

I decided to get a quick workout in tonight. My mom wanted to have the girls over for dinner, so that gave me a short window to run up to the HS. I started going there a few weeks ago because it's convenient, and well, it's free!

I've used a few machines there, but not the elliptical yet. Wanting to start with that I hopped on and previewed the control panel. Nothing happened when I pressed "Quick start". I looked around and there were two guys in the room with me. One right next to me, completely drenched and going to town on his elliptical, and a younger guy across from me kicking it up on the treadmill. The younger guy looked familiar. I think he was a counselor at Camp Ykoda last summer. He was just finishing up, so I waved him over my way and explained that I was a newbie on this machine and clueless. He was very nice and quick to help. First he told me that I had to start moving on the machine. Doh! So I did, and it started up. Then the sweaty guy next to me said that I was going backwards! OK, I reverse directions and try again. Young guy showed me a few more things and then said I needed to go faster for it to really kick in. He left and I decided to screw it after progress wasn't being made.

Meanwhile sweaty guy is still giving 'er. I move to the stairmaster and get going, tunes cranked on the mp3. Sweaty guy walks up to me 5 minutes later and motions whether or not I want the tv remote, I just nod "I'm good" and he walks away. OMG!! I just realized that I had a date with this guy! He's a teacher that I went out with once. We lacked chemistry, so there was only one date. Did he recognize me?? If he did, would he have approached me like that? Maybe he didn't? Hmmm.

The beginning of that date was actually a funny story, but I'll have to save it for another time.

To wrap this up, another woman hopped on that elliptical, futzed for a few minutes and moved to another one. I couldn't hear what she said to her friend (it wasn't important enough to turn the tunes down), but instinct tells me that the machine wasn't functioning properly. Turns out I'm not the pathetic loser after all.

It all begins somewhere

Wow. Here I am. I have a million thoughts on my mind right now. Where to start?!

A few months ago I took over a friend's blog per her request after she was no longer able. I've always been a writer (known to ramble at times) and really enjoy it. To clarify, I wasn't happy to be Carol's proxy, because she passed away in July of 07, but I do enjoy being able to write down my thoughts and feelings, and share that with others. Carol's blog also gives me the opportunity to stay connected with her family and friends and keep her memory alive.

So this... this is about me. It has become my new online journal. It's more for my own benefit. To track the going-ons in my life and express how I feel about what's up in this crazy world we live in. But it's also incredibly therapeutic for me. Writing has become my release. I think some of my friends would agree that I can get long winded when writing. Sara could email and ask how my day is going... the next thing you know she receives four to five paragraphs of just that! Probably more than she bargained for!

Feel free to keep me as a favorite and check in when time allows. See what's going on in that exciting life of mine! *choking on orange drink* And please leave comments when you feel the need! I welcome all comments, because what you have to say is just as important as what I have to say. Sometimes maybe more so!

And on that note I will welcome you all to my virtual world.
Enjoy and rock on.